The Pendulum of Mental Illness

It swings back and forth, side to side. Some days you’re at one extreme, other days you’re at another. But some days, you’re right in the middle, and life is good. Those are the moments to be cherished. What are these extremes you ask? Well the one, let’s say on the left side, is when things are difficult. Maybe you’re in hospital, maybe you’re experiencing residual symptoms, in short, this is the low end of mental illness, it feels like crap. Then on the right side, its when things are going a little too well. Maybe you’re lulled into believing you’re cured, maybe the treatment doesn’t seem so critical now, you’re on cloud nine. And then there’s the middle of the pendulum, that sweet spot. Where life is good, but your feet are still on the ground. Those are the days that make it all worth it.

So, what is it like on the proverbial left side? Well I’d say those are the moments that leave you feeling drained and helpless, maybe they make you want to scream out in frustration. Perhaps the left side leaves you wanting it all to just stop already. For many people, there are just as many reactions and responses. Many negative emotions and thoughts can crop up on the left side. Sounds pretty rough, right? Well, guess what? You know how a pendulum works? It swings back and forth, it never stops in any one spot for too long. That can only mean that we won’t be trapped on the left side forever, because we are gonna swing back into the middle and the right.

The so-called right side? That’s when things are going a little too well. Maybe you feel that treatment is no longer necessary, or that its all under control. This time its dealt with, the war is won! Or is it? It may not sound that bad at first but in my experiences its often a trap just waiting for me to walk through. SNAP. And then the pendulum goes flying back into the left side. It can be a pretty nauseating ride, that’s for sure. But have no fear! Because somewhere in between lies the middle.

Ahh finally, the mysterious middle. It’s the spot that everybody yearns for. Just what is the middle like? Well, its those moments that never seem to last quite long enough, yet they last an eternity. Its when it feels like you can handle tomorrow, because you handled today. It’s a difficult space to explain, the experience is different for everybody, but I can imagine that the feelings are nearly identical. Peace, serenity, and determination often arise from the middle. Bring it on mental illness! because we’re ready, we are no strangers to this fight.

Whether you’re on the left, the right, or you’re in the middle, just remember that “this too shall pass.”

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